Author: Jeff

ramblings

From Monty

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Christ resurfaces in VA, already entangled in legal battle

Christ in VA

While others wait with bated breath to find out the sex of Britney’s child, or what will become of MJ, smaller stories like this can fall through the cracks. I think this is a colossal mistake.

Folks, when a 50 year old man changes his name to Jesus Christ (technically, he was 35 when he changed his name), moves to rural Virginia, and decides to dig his heels into a legal battle to ensure he can register his car under his new name, am I the only one that sits back stares aimlessly at my “Christ Walking with Children” Hummel figurine and wonders, what has gone awry with a legal system more concerned with a car registration under the name Jesus Christ, than the fact there IS, officially, a Jesus Christ?

I’m definitely not the poster boy for religion, but, I’m really not entirely sure it takes even the gruff tough love of Judge Judy to figure out that when a guy comes into your court and asks to change his name to the Son of God that you’ve got a bigger problem than what form to stamp. I mean does anyone else feel the irony that the person inclined to have himself referred to as the Lord is also the person most likely to, I don’t know, say…sever young woman’s head, and wear it as a helmet while defecating on the corpse?

Call me St. Jude, but, I kind of feel like grabbin’ a Good Book and maybe having a divine intervention between Mr. Christ and a padded room. Could just be me.

art

Union Square Clock Mystery Solved

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The digital clock part of the “Union Square Clock,” which is actually an art installation by Kristin Jones & Andrew Ginzel entitled Metronome is called The Passage.

The Passage is a digital timepiece composed of 76,800 light emitting diodes in 15 panels (each approximately five feet in height) behind a clear glass curtain wall. The numerals indicate with atomic precision the time since midnight and counting down in hours, minutes, seconds until the midnight to come – the sum and balance of the day. For example, at precisely twelve noon, The Passage will read 120000000000012.

Lately it has changed: now instead of displaying the ascending and descending time, it is counting down to some event which thanks to Grubby Kid I know is the time when the 2012 Olympic Bid is decided.

Thanks Neu

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Kids Able To Buy Pot-Flavored Candy

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Local 6 News in Central Florida recently reported on a controversial pot-flavored candy found to be for sale to kids. The lollipops called “Chronic Candy” are marketed with the slogan “every lick is like taking a hit.” A recent taster said merely, “I think it’s a great product for bringing back memories. You’re not going to get a buzz, you are not going to get the munchies and you won’t get stoned.”

Even though they are meant for adults, there is no warning barring their sale to minors and the intrepid reporters were outraged that any child could just buy one. “This is just a gimmick for a 12-year-old wanna-be pothead to kind of get into,” warns counselor Lui Delgado said.

Capitalism at its best. I love it.

Thanks eNos

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Puzzle Du Jour II

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My department head seriously decreased productivity yesterday when he sent out a link to this puzzle game called Crimson Room. Basically, there are 13 items hidden in the room that you need to obtain in order to get out of this room.

If you find:

>> 0-6 items: Your IQ is very low, total idiot
>> 6-8 items: Low IQ, you are an idiot
>> 9-10 items: You are normal
>> 11-12 items: Your IQ is high, above the average.
>> 13 items found and you get out of the room: Mazel tov! Not many people can do it so you should be very proud of yourself.

Trust me, this puzzle can be solved and you can get out of the room. I know this because I’ve gotten out. The only hint I’ll give is that at some point, the number 1994 is important. I only give this out because as this game is a few years old, that number, which is needed to finish the game, is no longer available. That’s all I’m saying.

If you get stuck, email me and I’ll help you out.

Thanks Phil

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Freedom Will Ring a Tad Bit Later

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The Media has been buzzing today about a couple things, like a pineapple grenade going off in midtown, and the Freedom Tower is one of them. It seems that Gov. George E. Pataki, Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg and the lead developer at ground zero said yesterday that the soaring office building known as the Freedom Tower would be significantly redesigned to satisfy security concerns.
In an email I received yesterday, my friend Ben put it best:

“I’m glad to know that when it comes to massive undertaking public construction, Boston is not the only major city fully of a bunch of colossal idiots.

Listening the news the other day I had to shake my head that construction on the Freedom Towers will be delayed because the building needs to 100 feet from the street, due to security concerns resulting from…9/11/01. Four years of planning and these geniuses accepted plans that don’t meet the basic specs for security that were put in place as a result of the destruction of the buildings … they… are… rebuilding. Cue the circus theme.”

Thanks Ben – that is the best op-ed I’ve read on the subject yet…

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Freak of the Week – 4/25/05

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If you thought Michael Jackson was weird, check out this Peter Pan wannabe. I don’t even want to think about what he looks like without the wig and all these handmade fancy clothes. He says that his “day” job is in computer programming – lovely. He also has a IT company called Elfin Technologies. I love it.

I never before thought I would see these two sentences together: “I also started this site so that Tinkerbell would have an easier time finding me! So first of all I should say that I’m 50, and I live in Tampa Florida…”

Thanks Phyl, I’m sufficiently weirded out.

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Spam from Spamalot

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I read recently a NY Times article about how somebody pretty easily cracked the e-mail signup page at montypythonsspamalot.com. There were all 19,000 registered e-mail addresses, ripe for copying and adding to mailing lists. Which, of course, leads to spam. The irony is just too rich. The very term “spam,” as applied to junk e-mail, originally came from an old Monty Python skit.

By the way, you gotta love Eric Idle, the driving authorial force behind “Spamalot.” In his show memoir at the Web site, he writes: “Thank God for computers, because mine tells me I began writing the first draft of Spamalot on Monday December 31st 2001. I downloaded the text of the [Monty Python and the Holy] Grail [movie] from one of the many illicit websites, which thankfully saved me all the bother of typing out the script and I could paste and cut and rewrite as necessary.”

He downloaded his own illegal script to save himself time the lazy bastard. I love it!

Via Pogue’s Post