ramblings

50 Ways To Fix Your Life

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The Dec, 2004 U.S. News & World Reports issue had a feature titled “50 Ways To Fix Your Life” which I’ve been keeping around for the past few years because so many of the suggestions were really, really, really good. I’m not kidding. Some of them are totally common sense but it helps to refresh your memory that you should be doing them. Some of them though are slightly “out-of-the-box” and definitely worth shared. As I’m trying to save space in my apartment these days, I figured why don’t I post this great advice and recycle the mag. I would have just linked to the suggestions but for some reason the links are broken so I’ve decided to take my own time and chronicle the best parts of what I read verbatim (thanks US N&WR). After the jump are 50 ways to fix your life (that is if your life could use some fixing and let’s face it, whose couldn’t?)

    Simplify: 1 – 10 – the greatest journey may begin with a single step, but before you put your shoes on, you need to know where you’re headed. If you’re too busy, it can be hard to choose that path – or to figure out that you’ve already set yourself on the wrong road. Cut back. You’ll be amazed what you learn.

  1. Set your priorities. We spend a lot of time on things that are important but not urgent so we end up running out of time to do everything we want. Try to start each day with a list of the day’s tasks and rank them according to what can wait and what can’t. Mark them A, B, or C and then tear up the B’s and C’s. If you get all of the A’s done, you’ll feel great and have a successful day. The B’s and C’s either move up the list as they become more urgent or they drop off. What most of us do is not make the choice. We just plug along, and then we get frustrated when we run out of time. One way to make sure you don’t run out of time is to slow down, not speed up. You’ll enjoy the things you do more and do them better.
  2. Learn to meditate. Regular meditation can offset many of the effects of stress, it can boost the immune system and help treat symptoms and pain associated with chronic illnesses. Whether its yoga, tai chi, qi gong, or repetitive prayer,, the basic science is the same: stress bring forth a “fight or flight” reaction in the body, releasing epinephrine and norepinephrine into the bloodstream, which increase blood pressure, heart rate and muscle tension. It can be challenging to get started meditating though. One way it to do an exercise called “fill your cup.” You reflective over the coffee every morning for five minutes, savoring each sip and concentrating on “drinking in” the qualities you’ll need to get through the day, like strength or endurance. Then, in the afternoon if possible, try to lie down for 10-15 minutes, rest your eyes and concentrate on slowly inhaling and exhaling while envisioning a favorite spot. Even if other thoughts intrude, don’t feel like a failure, just try to return to the image even if it takes awhile. “Everyone thinks they are bad at meditation – that they’re not disciplined enough, that they can’t make their mind blank – but its is an innate human skill,” says Lorin Roche, author of Meditation Made Easy.
  3. Clean your closets. If you haven’t worn something in two years, either donate it or throw it out.
  4. Donate your phone. Non-profits will take your old cellphones. Help a brother out.
  5. Save your snapshots. Get old photos out of boxes and into albums. They’ll last longer that way and you’ll be able to enjoy them.
  6. Store by season. If things are rationally together, your closets will make more sense.
  7. Bag it. Shoebags can a lot more than shoes and hang off of the back of any door.
  8. Move to Bismarck. This isn’t for me but many publications think that the North Dakota capital is a fantastic place to live, work and raise a family. You won’t find me there anytime soon but for some, the mix of shorter commutes, less violent crime and better graduation rates than any other state is tough to pass up.
  9. Stop doing housework. American women spend 358 hours a year cleaning up. Be a little less neurotic and you’ll have more time to enjoy the things you care about.
  10. Quit your job. Quitting can be one of the most empowering and active decisions that a person ever can make. All things must come to an end, and by choosing when to quit a job, a relationship, a philosophy or a bad habit, quitter direct their own destiny. For one thing, companies are not loyal to employees anymore. Nobody blames you anymore and asks why you didn’t stick with things. If you are feeling a lot of stress and anxiety or you’re not sleeping, it’s important to pull back. Take 20 minutes in the morning and ask how you can be the person you want to be. Sometimes it can be scary to listen to your inner voice because the implication is that you have to make changes. Don’t quit because someone discouraged you. Don’t quit out of fear and don’t quit because you lack focus and before you quit, try out your new interests to see if you really are suited for it. Sticking with something you hate may take hard work but knowing when to quit takes wisdom.
     
  11. Stimulate:11 – 16 – a tired mind isn’t a happy mind. What can you do to recharge your batteries on a daily basis? Using different parts of your brain in unexpected ways can help, whether it’s digging in your garden, reading a challenging book, rocking out to your new MP3 player – or just tossing a ball.

  12. Use your gray matter. We know know adult brains can grow and change. The brain needs both physical and mental exercise. For starters, people who exercise do better on cognitive tests than their less fit peers. You are never too old to start a crossword puzzle, read some serious literature or even play billiards. In the end, because physical activity, mental challenges and strong social ties all appear to be good for the brain, those interested in keeping their brains honed to a keen edge might ant to combine social and aerobic activities and choose thought-provoking social events.
  13. Grow a plant
  14. Time to play
  15. Listen to new music
  16. Read more books. Don’t read because it will improve the inner working so your brain, nor because it will make you seem more cultured to other people. Don’t read just because it will give you a greater understanding of the world outside your immediate experience. Read because it is one of life’s great pleasures.
  17. Have more sex
     
  18. Organize: 17 -25 – Not everyone is born with the neatness gene. But i can be a learned behavior, and the result is more time, space, and energy to devote to the important things in life. Getting your finances under control, maintaining better files, kicking the clutter habit for good – these are hard steps to take, but the rewards are enormous.

  19. Fix your finances
  20. Cut back on the fees. Don’t use ATMs from other banks, reduce your brokers fees and try no-load funds.
  21. Re-balance investments. Take some of your winnings and reinvest in an under-performing asset.
  22. Freeze your credit cards. Literally: put your plastic in a bag, then freeze it in a container of water. IF you get the urge to splurge, at least you’ll have to wait for it to thaw.
  23. Plan for the worst. Set aside 3 – 6 month’s worth of expenses – in a money market account, where you won’t be tempted to spend it.
  24. Re-figure your FICO. Get credit card balances down, pay all bills on time, and don’t seek more credit than you absolutely need.
  25. Make an emergency plan
  26. Master your data
  27. Learn to file really well
     
  28. Get Well: 26 – 46 – In the end, they say, your health is all you have. If that’s true, too many people are still squandering their most precious resources. Still, it’s not too late to change. Whether it’s eating better food, getting enough sleep, or finally tossing the smokes, you can feel better (and maybe even live longer)

  29. Exercise, a little
  30. Quit Smoking
     
  31. Eating better:

  32. Try greener greens. Swap spinach for iceberg.
  33. Consider cantaloupe. A single medium-sized cantaloupe has more vitamin A andCC than an apple, orange and banana combined – and fewer calories to boot.
  34. Wipe out white. White foods contain calorie-heavy, nutrient-light refined carbohydrates.
  35. Toss the can. Americans drinks about 15 billions gallons of soda a year and all that sugar adds extra pounds.
  36. Treat yourself. When you do splurge, spring for the real thing but in moderation.
  37. Get married
  38. Eat your vegetables. Recent studies show veggies combat cardiovascular disease, obesity, even asthma. So just do it.
  39. Wear your bike helmet. About 67,000 cyclists end up in emergency rooms with head injuries each year; wearing a helmet cuts the risk of injury by at least 45 percent.
  40. Watch out for deer. Collisions with these critters kill some 150 people a year. Studies say deer whistles don’t work; paying attention – especially at dusk and dawn – does.
  41. Install a carbon monoxide detector. Fumes from faulty fuel-burning appliances can kill. You can’t see or smell the gas, so it’s impossible to detect by yourself.
  42. Get a paper shredder. Unsolicited credit card offers can give identity thieves all the info they need to open an account in your name. Shred ’em before you pitch ’em.
  43. Peer in the dark corners. Especially during winter when insects are usually dormant, check the attic, basement, and garage for signs of bees and other potentially perilous bugs.
  44. Become a birder
     
  45. Living healthy:

  46. Floss your teeth. ‘Nuff said.
  47. Stretch regularly. Even if you don’t have time to exercise, make sure to stretch – gently. You’ll keep muscles limber, ease joint pain and improve circulation and boost energy.
  48. Wear the right shoe size. Most of use don’t believe it or not and a bad fit can cause bad back problems.
  49. Breathe. Relaxing improves physical and mental health; 10 deep breaths will do.
  50. Take vitamins – the right vitamins. Most people are fine with just a multivitamin and taking too much of a lot of different supplements can hurt the body and the wallet.
     
  51. *MISSING*
  52. Take Stock: 47 – 50 – Is this the life you want? And if it isn’t, how can you tell? It’s easy to get so wrapped up in daily stresses that you forget to take a step back and reassess. Sometimes this stock taking means giving more to others; other times it requires tough self-examination. Either way, it is a very good idea.

  53. Take up philosophy.
  54. Volunteer. It doesn’t just help people on the receiving end; it drastically improves the health and happiness of the giver, too. Elderly volunteers demonstrate a decrease in depression and an increase in overall physical health – and they live longer than their non volunteering peers, according to a 2002 U of Michigan study. Child psychologists say that volunteer work helps adolescents and teens build valuable self-esteem and socialization skills. If you can’t avoid an office job at a non-profit, join up with an organization that will allow you to play a more dynamic roles. For the elderly and the retired, experts recommend 15 hours a week of volunteer work. For younger volunteers, it may be important to choose an activity that won’t create stress by gobbling up time in an already strained scheduled. Volunteering increases a person’s sense of responsibility and strengthens our political culture.
  55. Get a new look. Updating your wardrobe can came a world of difference.
  56. Forgive. Major world religions have long considered forgiveness one of the most important human virtues. Jesus’s radical forgiveness is the foundation of a Christianity; Judaism’s high holy days, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, are focused on atonement; Buddhism calls for ceaseless empathy and compassion towards all beings, especially enemies; in the Koran, the angel Gabriel tells Mohammad to set aside vengeful anger and from the Bhagavad Gita, a classic Hindu test: “If you want t o see the brave, look for those who can forgive. If you want to see the heroic, look at those who can love in return for hatred.” Indeed, there may be trespasses that are too vast to forgive. “Some people see forgiveness as a panacea, and that everyone is obligated to forgive every injury or crime. Real forgiveness is an inner transformation, and it takes a lot of work on the part of both the victim and perpetrator. To ask a victim for radical forgiveness can be unrealistic and morally unjustifiable. For those who do decide to forgive, researchers stress that it’s important to begin by acknowledging that you’ve been hurt. Then try to empathize with e person who hurt you. Look beyond your personal experience, and place the hurt in context with world events. Finally, decide to let go of the weight and stress of your anger for your own benefit. Forgiveness is an ongoing process; the anger will very likely come back. “It’ll just be weaker and weaker until it loses the intensity, and that’s where you find freedom.
ramblings

30 Facts About Chuck Norris

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When I was out in Cali at the beginning of July, my friends and I were sitting around the Q grilling, chatting and laughing. I said, “You know what’s funny, those Chuck Norris facts” which fell totally flat – no one knew what the hell I was talking about which was shocking – I know this list is “old” in Net years and figured one out of the five at least would be familiar with them. So, I mentioned the one Chuck Norris fact I know by heart – “Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.” – and my friends just lost it. I then went inside, jumped on a computer and found the full list of 30 facts about Chuck Norris, a list that will blow your friggin mind. I tried to read them all but couldn’t get past the first 10 because I was laughing so hard. We then decided that these facts are way too powerful to be read at once and we would read them only in increments of five. I waited a day for 10 – 15 and it took forever to get through those five facts. Then, at a later date when my friend Steve took over at 15, he could only get through three of them because he was laughing so hard. At one point, he was holding onto a railing in order to stand. You have been warned. So now, without further ado, here are 30 Facts About Chuck Norris (with number one still my favorite):
1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
5. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
6. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
7. Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t f*ck with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
8. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
9. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick-related deaths.
10. To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
After the jump, read the next 20 if you dare.
Via Everyone
11. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
12. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
13. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
14. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris
15. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
16. Chuck Norris won ‘Jumanji’ without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living sh*t out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
17. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.
18. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
19. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him.
20. Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
21. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He also always makes it to Oregon before you.
22. When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”
23. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
24. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is “his” way.
25. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can “accidentally” beat the shit out of little kids.
26. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he’s Chuck Norris.
27. Those aren’t credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.
28. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
29. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
30. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.